J. Edgar Hoover, director of the FBI for 48 years, ruled over eight presidents from Coolidge to Nixon, and while he lived, was probably the most powerful man in America, if not the world. Under Hoover's direction the FBI was pounded into the most organized, informed and effective police force in the world. A powerful engine to root out pinkos, pansies, punks, agitators, rabble rousers, subversives, saboteurs, traitors, foreigners, lefties, hippies, and especially Commies. He targeted presidents, politicians, activists, pacifists, writers, actors, artists, humanitarians, union organizers, Women Libbers, Civil Rights Leaders, college students, radicals, pacifists, Catholic priests and nuns, Jews and African Americans.
But who was this man behind the green curtain, veiled in secret files, armed with illegal wiretaps, and informed by covert snitches? And just what does that "J" stand for? Join me on a rare, unscripted and exclusive interview with J. Edgar Hoover:
The Man, the Myth and his Method.

We are at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, I've been granted an audience with The Director while he gets ready for a function. Unfortunately, we have to conduct the interview behind a closed closet door while he's getting dressed.

Lola: Mr. Director, are you in there?

JEH: Who wants to know?

L: Well, the American people would like to know why you held over six and a half million secret and confidential files on people like... Elvis Presley?

JEH: He excited passions and caused riots. He was a threat to the social order of things.

L: You have a "secret" file on Rock Hudson, and it's been suspected that the FBI was "secretly" monitoring his sex orgies, yet the official FBI records say that Rock Hudson was NOT the subject of an investigation. Can you explain why you had "secret" tapes of his parties?

JEH: He was a sex pervert and he had sex with Commies. And he never invited us to his parties.

L: And what about Helen Keller, writer, anti-war activist, and deaf and blind since birth? How could she pose a threat to America?

JEH: She was a pinko.

JEH: She slept with Commies.

L: You have a file on Pearl S. Buck, writer, humanitarian and advocate for peace, winner of a Nobel and a Pulitzer Prize. What did you have on her?

JEH: She was a threat to American policy.

L: One of your largest files was on Eleanor Roosevelt, beloved first-lady who was outspoken against segregation and lynchings, supported Civil Rights, free speech, women's rights, human rights, and was a member of the United Nations. You called her, "The most dangerous enemy in America." How do you figure?

JEH: She was a Commie and she slept with Commies. The UN is a nest of spies and she was a threat to national security.

L: Okay, moving right along here. You had a particular vendetta against Martin Luther King, Jr., which they have given a national holiday in honor of by the way. You had him constantly monitored, wire tapped, blackmailed, and even sent him harassing letters suggesting he commit suicide. You called him "The most dangerous n..... in the future of this nation."

JEH: He was a threat to the civil order of things. And he was a sexual deviate...and a Commie.

L: Why is it that you had around the clock surveillance on Dr. King yet your agents missed his assassin?

JEH: That's confidential.

L: Why did you have a file on Jane Fonda?

JEH: She was a Commie and was pregnant with Martin Luther King's child.

L: You are accused of dragging your feet on Civil Rights. Why did you wait until a white person was killed to openly investigate the KKK?

JEH: They weren't upsetting the social order of things. They were good white Christians boys. And they hated Commies.

L: Mr. Director, you've been accused of being a racist, among other things. Are you a racist?

JEH: Why, Amos and Andy were my good friends.

L: Are we talking about the actors on the radio show or the television show?

JEH: Um, that's secret information.

L: You served under eight presidents and all eight tried to sack you, but couldn't...for some reason. Can you explain your method?

JEH: That's top secret.

L: Okay, next question. Not until urged by Bobby Kennedy, then Attorney-General, did you begin to even acknowledge organized crime. Why were you so reluctant to investigate the mafia?

JEH: There's no such thing as the mafia.

L: Didn't you see the movie The Godfather? Did the mob have something on you? Some nasty little secret of your own, perhaps?

JEH: There's no such thing as the mafia.

L: Okay. Who was your favorite president?

JEH: Nixon. Didn't like the way he looked though, but he wasn't a Commie.

L: Who killed JFK?

JEH: The Commies.

L: Mr. Director, before I leave is there anything you'd like to share with the American public? Anything you'd like to get off your chest? Clean out the closet? Air out any dirty laundry? Throw out some skeletons, perhaps? And what about that "J", is it for Judy, Janis, Jane....?

My interview with Mr. Hoover ended abruptly. The Director never did come out of the closet, and we never did find out what that "J" stood for. But there you have it: The Director of the FBI, who for almost fifty years held all of America firmly by the shorts. A mighty police force aimed straight at...US. Thank you for joining me. This is Lola Miller reporting from Planet Earth. PS: How do you know you aren't being monitored right now while you're reading this?